A Mason's Work

[00:00] So it's 2 a.m.
[00:04] You can't sleep.
[00:07] Your brain is running at super high speed against a whiff of a problem.
[00:20] You're up all night with anxiety.
[00:25] About what might go wrong, about the next thing that could happen, about all of the crazy things that could be.
[00:38] This is a misapplication of the level.
[00:43] When we start planning correctly and start meaningfully identifying obstacles and risks to our plans and designs,
[00:51] we can use this concept, this anxiety or this projection into the future in a productive way.
[01:01] When we don't have a concrete understanding of what's going on, it is a misapplication of that capacity.
[01:12] It is the level activating the gavel.
[01:19] It's like, hey, something's coming.
[01:22] Let's get on it and make sure that we're doing the best thing we can, the best version of ourselves.
[01:28] Taking all of the rough edges off.
[01:31] Except the parts of you that you are projecting into the future here don't exist.
[01:40] So it's like the gavel swinging at air.
[01:44] You are trying to be protective about a problem that doesn't exist.
[01:56] And every time you swing, you hit nothing.
[01:59] You swing again and you swing harder.
[02:02] And you try and find, how am I going to deal with this?
[02:04] How am I going to solve this problem?
[02:05] And the biggest challenge with this as a concept, apart from the fact that it's 2 a.m.
[02:12] and you're depriving yourself of meaningful rest, which is a junior warden's issue,
[02:16] you have this really strong desire to not mess up.
[02:22] And no way to connect that to what's actually fixable.
[02:32] And there's a real reason why this anxious rehearsal feels productive.
[02:38] It mimics the motion of regular problem solving.
[02:41] You're doing the stuff, right?
[02:43] As you go through the anxiety loop where you think about what could happen, you identify
[02:48] that maybe as a way that you could solve it.
[02:50] And then what's next?
[02:51] And then what's next?
[02:52] But there's nothing there.
[02:57] It feels somewhat useful.
[03:03] But again, we'll get into kind of ways we can look at this.
[03:07] In our ritual, we talk about the idea when we're conferring or giving passwords and things
[03:16] like that.
[03:16] How are we going to come to a knowledge of the password?
[03:19] One of the ways that we go to come to a knowledge of a password is lettering it.
[03:22] And lettering it is essentially the equivalent of giving something a name in small bites.
[03:27] So when we letter a problem or when we talk about a problem that we have and give it a name,
[03:36] that is the micro solve for the misapplication of the level against a future problem.
[03:46] Letter it.
[03:48] What is the thing you're worried about?
[03:51] Follow that consequence upstream.
[03:54] Follow it downstream.
[03:55] Hey, I'm worried that this presentation I'm going to give tomorrow at work is going to
[04:01] fall flat.
[04:02] And I think that if I don't get this right, then I'm going to lose my job.
[04:08] And you begin to give those thoughts, which are for most people, rough and ambiguous and
[04:16] circular, real names and consequences.
[04:21] You're lettering that problem down to what is it that's actually my fear and concern.
[04:29] As you go through that process of lettering the problem, you then create something that
[04:36] the mind can actually work with.
[04:38] You start like, hey, let's look at by example.
[04:43] Has anyone else in my workplace flubbed the presentation before?
[04:48] And did they immediately get walked out of the building with a box of their stuff?
[04:53] If that didn't happen, then can my career tolerate a whiff?
[04:58] Okay, cool.
[05:01] So I'm not going to die.
[05:03] I'm not going to lose my job.
[05:05] Great.
[05:06] Start working on building up using your other aprons, using the other capacities you have
[05:11] at your disposal.
[05:12] The secretary's apron.
[05:13] What's true?
[05:13] What's false?
[05:13] What's feelings?
[05:15] The treasurer's apron.
[05:16] What's the ROI here?
[05:17] What does worrying buy me?
[05:18] What does the consequence of my behavior look like?
[05:21] Start bringing in these other perspectives then once you've lettered the problem to help
[05:27] you take some of the sting out of it.
[05:31] I'm not trying to trivialize anxiety.
[05:32] I've had it for my whole life.
[05:35] So I know what it is.
[05:36] I know how it works.
[05:37] But as we talk about this and misapply these kinds of things like the level to the future
[05:42] version of ourselves, we really run risk of sapping our present moment and sacrifice
[05:50] to a future that will never come.
[05:55] We'll talk more tomorrow.