A Mason's Work

At a relational level, the senior warden, and really when we talk about kind of the operative

model of the senior warden, we're really talking about this, how do people interact?

What are the relational behavioral sort of considerations when we talk about closing?

We're not talking here explicitly about closing relationships per se.

It's not about, you know, cutting people off or saying, I'm never going to see you again.

It's about closing the sort of, guess for lack of a voice, at the contractor, the agreements,

the tacit agreements potentially, that we interact on, you know, under the assumption

of or under the operating conditions of.

So when we kind of meet together and decide to do work, whatever that might be at a lodge

or in a, you know, social setting or volunteer group or whatever, you're going to be interacting

in a way that essentially has the potential to kind of go on forever.

So in folks, when they drift off and leave, you know, you hear about the Irish goodbye

or whatever, so where did, where did Bill go?

Oh, he just left.

He didn't say goodbye or any that kind of stuff.

The senior door, he can function or the senior warden function at this level is to essentially

for lack of a better way to say to stick the landing relationship wise so that you have

a clear and meaningful sort of demarcation saying, this part of the work is done and maybe

we can move on to the next part or maybe we can reconvene another day.

At a relational level too, it makes sure that everyone knows that in the process.

So it's not like you've just shut everything down and, you know, people show up the next

day and they don't know what's going on or why.

It's about making sure that you have the sort of open and honest communication about the

stopping part of the work.

And that becomes really kind of surprisingly critical to kind of do because again, you know,

without direction here, what might have been a powerful and meaningful experience because

it didn't conclude properly, essentially kind of just fizzles out.

So I tell folks, when we talk about how to be a good senior warden, for example, in the

room, help me stick the landing.

Help me as a Worshuffle Master stick that landing and make sure that we're doing the good

work and that everyone walks out of the relationship, getting the wages they are due.

Now let's talk about that for a second.

One of the indicators that someone is due wages, whatever they might be, if someone

leaves the room upset, there's a couple of kind of situations here that we need to address

from a relational sort of perspective.

And it's the same relationship stuff that we need to address personally as well.

It's this idea that if we don't have a goal, if we don't have a stated outcome or driving

towards, it's really hard to be to justify being upset with the outcomes you get, right?

It's the you get what you get and you don't get upset, kind of thing.

We tell the children in school.

When you look at this relationship wise and we say, hey, I need to know what it is you're

looking for out of this exchange, out of this experience so that when it comes time to

evaluate that later on, we can agree that you got what you were looking for.

Or if you didn't, here's the context by which we can remedy that in some capacity or improve

the next opportunity.

Again, but this closure function because it's closure, because people get a sense that

it means a separation or disconnection, a lot of folks avoid having those conversations

up front because it seems like planning for something way, way, way far away or something

that might take away from the experience that you're about to have.

And the reality is that sort of, I would say, has to say contracting because it's not

only contracting, but that mutual sharing of goals and expectations and things like that

will help you drive to a much more solid understanding of what it means to stick the

landing relationship wise.

And from there, create the outcomes and stronger bonds that you're looking to create as a senior

warden.