A Mason's Work

In the last episode we talked about creating space to grow and develop and all of the things

that happen when you have environments that are not designed to perpetually kind of engage

you in distraction or what have you.

Your everyday rituals, your comforts, that kind of thing.

I want to talk in today's episode about the role of silence in this.

We don't often as a society cultivate silence as either a positive and proactive response

nor as a meaningful answer to kind of the challenges that we face.

But silence is an amazing tool to solve all sorts of problems in everyday life.

So we'll go through them in no particular order.

One of the first things that silence can do for you is, again, it's that part of that

creating space.

So cultivate silence inside yourself.

And what does that mean?

It means not, I guess we'll kind of synonymously use silence and stillness together.

It means not immediately responding to your first knee jerk reaction.

It means allowing space for your thoughts to emerge and arise without judgment or discernment.

And in silence, not responding to those kind of emotions as they arise, those thoughts

as they emerge.

The same thing is true in response to other people.

You can proactively create space, not just for yourself, but for the people around you.

By allowing silence to mature in the moment, you can help people kind of do some of the

mental backfilling that they would do on their own.

I'll give you kind of an example and we'll see how this plays.

But if somebody says something objectionable to you, maybe it's emotionally politically

charged or some sort of something offensive.

You can engage, you can deflect or you can remain silent.

Remaining silent is a response that allows the moment to come do fullness.

So somebody says something that is just awful, for example, maybe full of hatred or bigotry

or whatever.

And you let that just sit.

And what will happen is it's very much like something smelly or awful in the room.

And as it just sits there and does what it does, kind of matures, you will have created

a space for people to essentially go, maybe I need to think about my, what I'm saying,

maybe I need to reconsider my behavior, my action.

This silence is a little bit different than things like acquiescence or submission.

So I want to be clear there too, because there are moments in our life that we surrender

to on purpose.

You surrender to the idea of falling in love, you surrender to the idea of, you know,

listening to music is very much an active surrender in a lot of ways.

Silence is not necessarily that.

It may be viewed as that from others.

But silence in many ways is a absolutely proactive and active response to stop yourself from

acting in the moment and being silent, remaining silent.

You can influence the outcomes you're trying to create.

Same things true again internally.

As we cultivate this silence, as we cultivate the sort of non-doing that comes with the

silence that is cultivated and stillness that's cultivated internally, the world around

us will try and fill this gap and you'll see as that happens, sometimes what they try

and fill it with is just obviously and visibly absurd.

And that is where you can actually be, use that silence, use that space as a proactive

agent for change, because the absurdity doesn't last.

Right?

People go, wait a minute.

I just said something completely ridiculous and he didn't respond or she didn't respond

at all.

What did I say?

If you think about that, if you allow that to mature, you might find again in your own

practice, your own experience that if you cultivate this silence and start actively using

it as a tool, conversationalally, I found it works really well with children.

They feel like they need to fill the space and oftentimes with less of a filter.

They will talk themselves through the wrong answers a couple times before they get to

the right one.

And silence, allowing that space to mature, allowing that openness to be, is a great way

to help folks again come along for the ride and see the things that maybe they've refused

to see or refused to examine before it's exited their mouth.

So cultivate silence, I think you'll find that practice in and of itself internally

and as well as externally, that silence and stillness will be a really productive for

you moving forward.