A Mason's Work

[00:00] so we're now three episodes in we're on the fourth episode for the week we kind of know
[00:05] what we're carrying right you know the sequence we've been talking about this this kind of uh
[00:10] you know flinch when it comes to appreciating somebody else having a you know having achieved
[00:16] a success or what have you you then go kind of on this you have this flinch and then this brief
[00:21] attack mode where you're like uh they probably didn't earn that or they're probably a horrible
[00:25] person uh and then the transmutation to gratitude that arrived as essentially a cage on your own
[00:33] behavior and then all of the stuff that follows it the kind of uh commiserating with buddies that
[00:39] turns into you know this sort of badge of honor by essentially not having the thing that you were
[00:45] talking about so when we start to do that work and we kind of find the reason why that belief got
[00:52] started to begin with we now have some real work to do and it's important to not minimize this because
[01:03] most guys don't get this far the entire process to even get to this conversation sucks it's a lot of
[01:11] hard work it's a lot of difficult looking in the mirror kind of stuff but now that we know what to do
[01:19] it's not the same as fixing it today we start the process of fixing it we come up with the actions
[01:25] that we need and the best tool for action in a lot of cases particularly this one is the gavel in the
[01:32] hands of a mason it does one thing it takes off the corners of rough stones in the hands of a free mason
[01:37] it helps us remove those things those excesses those vices those superfluities so we can actually do
[01:48] the work we oftentimes think about this in the terms of vices where it's just like hey you know i should
[01:55] stop eating so much or drinking so much or doing these things but when we start to really look at it
[02:02] clearing some of these false beliefs is also an appropriate use of the gavel we want to take off
[02:12] these limiting beliefs so we can grow in a meaningful way and really do the kinds of things that we want
[02:20] to do and getting to this point this kind of discovery is a very like enlightening sort of place it feels
[02:28] lighter you feel lighter once you know why things are but oftentimes here's where we have to get really
[02:35] careful and mindful about what's next because lots of times those subversive little ruffians in our head
[02:44] essentially come in and they just build a better story on top of the one you have so you can feel
[02:52] like progress in the beginning but if you build on the top of the foundation that hasn't been properly
[02:56] cleared the new structure inherits all that instability of whatever's underneath so we've taken that belief and
[03:03] just gilded it if you will so let's work on this just a little bit more and talk about what it means
[03:09] when you start to think about this you might think hey i'm going to replace the sentiment i should feel
[03:15] grateful with a different phrase like i deserve abundance and that seems like super attractive as like
[03:23] i'm going to change this but you're really just changing the color of the paint it's the same sentiment
[03:31] it's the same kind of thinking but doesn't address the real kind of issue that behavior is still
[03:41] essentially not quite going to go away because you have paved it over with this gratitude or this
[03:49] affirmation so when we start to figure this out we have to then start to think about how do we undo
[04:00] the reason that behavior came to be in the first place we have to begin the process of sitting
[04:08] and learning how to sit in discomfort we need to move backwards gratitude was a response to a discomfort
[04:18] the pain itself is where we have to sit and this is awful nobody loves it i don't love it i've been
[04:29] working on myself for my whole life and one of the least comfortable places to sit is a place where
[04:36] you have to acknowledge the discomforts of your own way of thinking the things that keep you constrained
[04:42] but when you sit there and then go back like we did last week and talk about the responses that we have
[04:50] the labels we've ascribed to these things we can begin the process of understanding what it is
[04:55] i see somebody who's successful and i want that and i wonder why i don't have it and then i weaponize it in
[05:07] some capacity or another i invalidate his achievement or i blame past versions of myself for not having me get
[05:15] there but the wanting is where the money is sitting with that in that place where you're not going to be a
[05:25] you just have this twinge of envy or desire sounds crazy to sit there because we're often taught that
[05:34] desiring thing and wanting things is like physical objects and you know beach houses or whatever lake
[05:41] houses wanting these things is oftentimes demonized but it's okay to want it is entirely appropriate it's
[05:49] the reason we left the caves to begin with right so when we start to sit here in a position of want
[05:55] and the discomfort of that you're gonna find lots of really cool things happen and if you're paying
[06:02] attention to your body you might find when you're confronted with a strong emotional response
[06:07] you might find a tingling in your hands or a tingling in your feet or a tension in your shoulders
[06:16] these are all basic programming from ancient humanity this is the fight or flight reflex
[06:23] and it comes in and it sucks and it kicks your butt and then you label it something else and make it go
[06:29] away don't make it go away sit with it for a minute this is what it means to really face your stuff
[06:38] sit with that discomfort and let it be don't try and fix it don't try and change it understand its texture
[06:46] we'll get into ways to harness that discomfort and turn it into meaningful action in tomorrow's episode as we wrap up