A Mason's Work

As men, it is very easy to fall into complacence when things seem to be going well.

The quiet that comes with that feels very satisfying.

That is okay.

I don't mean to dismiss, you know, relaxing in the comfort of a job well done.

That said, when that relaxing in the comfort of a job well done exceeds the amount of time

it takes for you to rest and recover and starts to become systemic, then you have to recognize

that you have in many ways stopped growing.

The hallmarks of growth as an individual are discomfort.

It's an uncomfortable process to recognize and deal with any of the things that might be holding you back,

typically because they're attached to some level of an emotional backstory or some sort of causal behavior

that you're avoiding things or things like that.

That discomfort is really important and it's important to seek it when you are comfortable,

which is not something that is fun to do.

How do you know when you are looking for the next thing?

Because again, you're probably not looking for that discomfort right out of the gate.

One of the things that you want to consider in your reflection are the behaviors that you might be actively avoiding doing.

So I'm going to get healthy one day or one day I'm going to get wealthy or one day I'm going to get wise.

Any of those sort of one day kind of plans or if you find yourself saying the words, if only X, Y, or Z,

if I would do this, if only I weren't that.

Those are some great internal cues for development opportunity.

When you hear yourself saying those words or thinking those thoughts, this is the indication of some of the areas of the rough ashlar that you want to start working with.

Other opportunities that are perhaps less visible, if you have a strength that has been unexploded or unutilized or is being interfered with by some external force, this is an area where development might be an option.

So, obviously you're not going to be able to solve all problems if you're an expert singer, not all problems are song related problems, but at the same time.

If you refuse to sing for whatever reason, there's a good chance that there is a developmental block in the way.

As you work through these things and start to surface some of the challenges that might be holding you back or might indicate an opportunity for development, you will inevitably have to create your own momentum.

You will have to find a way to move past the initial discomfort and into that space of unknowing or discomfort.

As you start down that path, there is going to be a thousand siren songs to keep you from it. You will not want to do these things. It is normal.

The further you trace it, the easier it will become as language in the ritual in Pennsylvania. When you do this work, the first few steps are often the hardest.

Very rarely is it the last few steps that are the hardest. So, how are you going to start on the process of being uncomfortable?

Step one is reflection. Always start with, where am I? What is it that I'm trying to work on and where do I want to go?

From there, it's productive to think about what are the smallest possible steps you can take to begin embracing that discomfort.

What is the tiniest step? Because the larger the initial activation energy required to pursue discomfort, the less likely you are to do so.

So, what is the smallest thing you can do to help move the conversation forward, to move towards this area where you are uncomfortable?

As you start on that path, use your lodgemates for help, use your virtual community for help to ask about support, to ask about what is the thing I can do to help close this gap or solve this problem.

You want to reduce the ambiguity as much as you can that's interfering with your ability to move forward.

Asking for help is a great way to do it, but don't mistake asking for help as masquerading for progress.

You can only ask for help for so long before it becomes its own form of avoidance.

So, as you move through this, as you start working on yourself and get through this complacence and move towards the discomfort, what will happen is,

you will stop reveling in the rewards of your successes and begin reveling in the discomfort and growth that comes with it as its own reward.

And when that happens, you will effectively be on the development path for the rest of your life, which is our objective as men to become better change-angels and to do that we need to be professionally be growing.

Good luck.