A Mason's Work

So I was in a conversation with somebody today and one of the things that we came up with

or a question that came up in the conversation is what is the function of resonating depth

or sympathy or compassion if you aren't directly attempting to affect change?

And I think it's an important question because there are going to be tons of situations

where you can't affect change in yourself or the world around you.

But that doesn't eliminate or reduce the need for resonance at depth.

The reality that we are all kind of in, various levels of whatever that means.

We are social creatures and a significant portion of our conscious awareness,

including the anatomical elements of our brain and the vision centers and the recognitions

and all of the things that comes with the understanding of the way our hormones and biology work

are all designed for both the sort of operative model of work where you operate on the environment around you.

But they also have a strong social component and resonating depth and essentially helping other people

understand that you may not be able to feel exactly what they feel but you have also suffered

creates a solid ground of being where you can interact with others in a way without needing the change

them, without needing to make them different than what they are.

You get to mirror the sort of innate nobility in the human condition when you interact with others.

And in that mirroring, you strengthen the bond without having to add anything extra.

You don't have to do anything in particular. In a lot of cases, just abiding with someone

is a great way to essentially strengthen your relationship, particularly if you abide when

someone else is suffering or troubled or experiencing a hardship in some way.

As that bond strengthens, a couple of things will happen. The suffering will ease slightly

without, again, without really any extra effort. Just being heard for a lot of people is sufficient

to help them not feel so isolated and alone. And as we start flexing this ability to be near others

in a state of pain without essentially taking on their suffering or trying to change them,

we are also essentially suggesting that these types of relationships that are accepting without

modification are the kinds of relationships you're willing to engage in. That vulnerability,

that accessibility is where the foundation of quality of life is developed.

There is no amount of financial wellbeing that is going to meaningfully buy that level of

resonance and care, at least not directly. As you are sculpting your skill sets, be mindful

of that expression of empathy and compassion and awareness. Because in that space where there is

nothing to change and nothing to do, there is so much to gain just by being present in the moment

in that space. That you will learn a lot of things, the sort of mechanics of which I can't fully

quantify or explain. You're going to learn what it is to have dignity in the face of all sorts of

troubles and traumas, what it means to have sort of referential integrity and honor. And all of those

things, they all emerge in these quiet spaces where you look in the mirror that is other people

and find the better version of both of you. And so be present without trying to change anything

and see how you grow.