Crafting a Life Series: The Mirror of Feedback
Download MP3In this episode, we navigate the "place of great danger" that is soliciting feedback, teaching you how to distinguish between seeking approval and seeking actionable insight.
High-Value Quotables
[01:21] "Are you looking for feedback or approval? Those things are different."
[02:44] "What you're really looking for is nuanced feedback... by asking questions that are a little bit more engaging."
[04:01] "Every person that's giving you feedback... is acting to as a mirror on that process."
[05:42] "Be prepared that they will not be able to separate their opinion from their observation... be careful with other people's feedback, because if you take that and use it as a way to drive your own behavior, you may find that you are operating sort of at the whim of a thousand different perspectives."
The Core Concept: Nuanced Questioning
Soliciting feedback is a risky step in development because we are often sensitive and prone to seeking simple approval. To get truly actionable insight, you must change the nature of your questions from binary ("Did you like it?") to specific and process-related ("What flavors did you taste?").
Key Takeaways:
- Approval vs. Feedback: Approval is a binary like/dislike; feedback is a nuanced understanding of choices made in context.
- The "Mirror" Effect: Respondents are mirrors reflecting your process back to you, but their reflection is always flavored by their own subjective preferences.
- Specific Inquiries: Ask what someone would have done differently or what was most attractive about an experience to get actionable data.
- The Feedback Nightmare: If you use subjective feedback as your sole behavioral driver, you risk going adrift by following a "thousand different perspectives".
Creators and Guests
Host
Brian Mattocks
Host and Founder of A Mason's Work - a podcast designed to help you use symbolism to grow. He's been working in the craft for over a decade and served as WM, trustee, and sat in every appointed chair in a lodge - at least once :D
