A Mason's Work

[00:00] So when I was a kid, one of the big television shows that kind of came out or came on, I guess, when I was reasonably young was The Simpsons.
[00:12] And as a kid, I identified with Bart, of course, because why wouldn't you, right?
[00:17] But when I would watch it, there was this part in the beginning, the opening of the show, where Homer would chase Bart around the couch and then get his hands around his throat and hold him against the wall and just choking him out.
[00:33] And it was all played for comedic effect.
[00:35] But as relating to Bart, like I didn't understand why this is funny.
[00:43] Like a grown dude choking out a kid is pretty much awful.
[00:48] And I, as a kid, I was like, well, this, what is going on here?
[00:53] Uh, I didn't understand.
[00:54] I didn't think the joke was funny.
[00:56] Uh, and then I had kids, uh, later on in my life and I understood it completely.
[01:03] Uh, now to be clear, I've never choked anybody, but the thought has crossed my mind.
[01:08] So when we talk about the role of leader in a lodge or a father in our lives, one of the things that you have to become sort of, uh, aware of fairly quickly, uh, is that you've got a lion inside.
[01:30] Uh, in a uncontrollable, insatiable rage and anger that comes with, you know, being a human being.
[01:41] And in that process of having this anger and frustration and rage and all the stuff that comes with it, um, it's quite clear that choking folks out is not a viable solution for lots of really good reasons.
[01:57] So when you're sitting there trying to figure out as a worshipful master in your lodge or as a leader in your business or as a father in your home, it becomes really important to understand how to work with this, uh, anger and rage and all of that kind of stuff.
[02:15] Because you can't afford to let, uh, uh, a lack of self understanding and self-control in this case, uh, damage relationships that are supposed to be the strongest and most capable and richest in your life.
[02:30] So I want you to kind of think about, uh, this as we move forward, because if you've ever been, uh, absolutely, you know, in the throes of, of really, really upset and anger, uh, you might think that the answer or the resolution to something like that is that you need to cultivate patience.
[02:52] You may have said to yourself, Hey, I just want to become a more patient person because you see other people being patient and you think, Oh, that's it.
[03:05] Well, in that way, you're treating anger as a problem, right?
[03:10] I need patience.
[03:11] I need to calm down.
[03:12] I need to get better at keeping my cool, which is in many ways, uh, suggesting that you want to put your anger somewhere else.
[03:21] Apologize for it, uh, and, and sort of never touch it again, right?
[03:27] That in some idealized version of the future, you're never going to be angry anymore.
[03:34] But I want you to understand something that's really important because we don't talk about it enough.
[03:42] Anger isn't a problem.
[03:45] It is a symptom.
[03:46] We get angry as the result of something that's going on in our minds, in our lives, in our worlds.
[03:56] So when we think about how we manage this and how we work with anger, we want to think about it as a symptom.
[04:03] It's a pointer.
[04:04] It points us to a place where we can go do some work.
[04:09] So I've been a worshipful master in my lodge, uh, several times.
[04:14] I have two, uh, two boy children, or I guess young men, children now.
[04:18] Um, and, uh, I've been through the ringer on this with employees and in other situations.
[04:25] So I want to start you down the path, the same path, which is we want to begin understanding that if anger is a signal, it tells you something.
[04:38] We'll start digging in over the next, uh, couple of episodes here for, uh, to get a little more insight here and figure out how we identify what the anger is pointing to.
[04:51] What is a viable resolution for it?
[04:54] How can we, uh, transmute that, uh, anger from, uh, that, that feeling, the strong feeling of rage into productive action that can help you move the conversation and the relationships forward to a deeper, stronger, better place.
[05:08] And we'll be doing this, uh, largely from the perspective of fatherhood.
[05:12] And we'll move from there, uh, into leadership and the rest of the lodge stuff.
[05:17] Talk to you tomorrow.
[05:17] Talk to you tomorrow.